Ms. Petunia’s Blueberry Pie Recipe
“A fabulous dessert truly to die for…”
– Ms. Petunia
Ingredients:
- 6 inch traditional raw pie crust
- 3 cups heavy cream
- 4 tbsp butter
- 2 tsp cinnamon
- 2 cartoons of blueberries
- 1 dash lemon zest
- 1 very fortunate victim (preferably a child)
Directions:
- Preheat your oven to 350F.
- Leave bread crumbs outside on your doorstep to attract pesky children.
- Once the oven is fully heated, place your pie crust in the oven and allow it to bake for 15 minutes or until slightly golden.
- Check your front door to see if a child appears at your front porch. If so, politely gesture for them to sit on a chair to allow them to wait for you to “make them a cup of tea”.
- Whip your heavy cream and butter in a bowl until the mixture is well mixed.
- Slowly incorporating 1 ½ cartoons of blueberries into the mixture.
- Secretly close all windows to cover your gracious act from any outside wanderers.
- Perform your gracious act and collect the child’s soul. They will be most wonderful.
- Hand mix your cinnamon and lemon zest into your cream and butter mixture.
- Place your full mixture into the pie crust and top with the rest of the blueberries.
- Bake everything in the oven for 15 minutes or until the pie crust is golden brown and the filling is well brown-pointed at the top.
- Release your victim’s soul into the pie, and watch as the pie begins to take the shape of an anguished face.
- Enjoy your pie!
Post Directions:
- The victim’s parents won’t be here to save them now. But in the end, you did it all. They wandered into your house and they are wonderful, they are wonderful, they are wonderful.
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