Ever since renowned rapper Playboi Carti dropped his album Die Lit in 2018, he has stayed off the spotlight and left his fans on edge as to when he would drop his next album. In that two year time period, his fans have begged him to drop something new and were stuck listening to Carti leaks on SoundCloud. After a two year absence, Carti eventually decided to drop his long-awaited album Whole Lotta Red on December 25, 2020. I’m excited to hear what Carti has crafted in his time off and here’s my review.
Rockstar Made
For Carti’s first song on his long-awaited album, my expectations are sky-high. I’m expecting an orgasmic feeling in my ears. This first song is mediocre at best. I’m a fan of the beat, but the lyrics ruined it. Carti says the phrase “Never too much” a whopping 44 times. I’m wondering if he was trying to beat Lil Pump’s record where he said “Gucci Gang” 52 times. Carti, you were so close to beating that record, but you still failed, unfortunately.
Go2DaMoon(feat. Kanye West)
The beat on this song wasn’t very strong, so the focus was mostly on the lyrics. I was decently impressed with what Kanye was spitting out, but Carti’s lyrics were questionable. Once again, Carti’s back to repeating one-liners like “what” and “go to the moon.” Kanye elevated this from garbage to mediocrity. Good job Kanye!
Stop Breathing
Carti begins by describing how all sexually promiscuous women are unable to properly facilitate gas exchange in their lungs when Carti takes off his shirt. This begs the question — what is under Carti’s shirt? Next, Carti begins with his post-chorus where he goes “Ha, ha, ha, ha.” I’m not sure if Carti is trying to smell his breath or trying to laugh. He then transitions into a discussion about how cool he is and how he’s strapped with a blicky (his gun, probably not a nerf gun), has a whole gang on his side, and his ability to win women over, all of which are typical rap topics. I’m very confused as to why Carti chose this title when more than half the song doesn’t relate to the topic.
Beno!
There’s really nothing special about this song. All of the lyrics are about typical topics such as flexing one’s wealth, ability to kill using a gun, and preference for illegal drugs. The beat is also not worth noting. This is mediocrity at its finest.
JumpOutTheHouse
This song is disgustingly bad. Carti only raps about two things — jumping and being rich — for a whole minute. Carti just copy and pasted his one-liners over and over. I also heard that Guantanamo was interested in purchasing this song as an alternative to waterboarding. I’m not sure which one would cause more trauma though.
M3tamorphosis(feat. Kid Cudi)
This song is shockingly long as it’s five minutes and 12 seconds in length. In the beginning, I got thrown off with this really weird sound during Carti’s part that sounded like a man moaning with autotune slapped on. Anyway, Carti moves on to rap about the song’s title which is meant to describe Carti’s metamorphosis into god’s greatest rapper or whatever he thinks of himself. Carti’s lyrics weren’t particularly interesting and really didn’t have any substance, unlike Kid Cudi’s verse.
Slay3r
Hmm. Carti really enjoys replacing his e’s with ‘3s. What an 3dgy thing to do! H3h3, s33 what I did th3r3? Ok, I’ll stop. This song is Carti’s attempt to pay respect to the legendary band Slayer. Carti claims he’s like a rockstar and could’ve joined the band. Additionally, he goes on to describe his rockstar lifestyle. I felt that the lyrics were far better than any of the previous songs, but the chorus is a tad too long for my tastes.
No Sl33p
I really enjoyed the beat as it had a bangin’ bass. I was shocked to find out that Carti suffers from insomnia; however, I’m even more shocked at the underlying cause. Apparently, Carti suffers from “I dream about murder” which is the precursor to the more commonly known disorder known as insomnia. Hopefully, Carti can one day make a recovery from this.
New Tank
In this song, Carti shows us his amazing rhyming skills. He rhymes pairs like “bank and tank,” “face and base,” “place and case,” and “lean and lean” which is my absolute favorite rhyme out of the whole song. Besides all that wonderful rhyming, there’s nothing else that’s really memorable.
Teen X(feat. Future)
For this masterpiece, Carti decides to whip out his baby voice which is synonymous with how a grown man sounds when he gets kicked down south. The rest of the song is just Future and Carti discussing their use of various drugs such as MDMA, codeine, and Percocet. I’m not sure why Carti decided to use a baby voice to discuss drugs. He was probably blasted on drugs, so I can’t blame him for this mixup.
Meh
The beat on this song is another one of my favorites. I just love beats that really incorporate a hard-hitting bass. The lyrics are very unoriginal. Carti talks about his mate although he uses very vulgar terms that we, unfortunately, can’t use to describe her. Additionally, he yaps on about his wealth making this song very meh. Even Carti thinks it’s only average at best which is why the song’s name is meh.
Vamp Anthem
The beat on this song is my favorite out of the whole album. The song also incorporates an organ, but I’m not completely sure if it is; I failed my music classes. The rest of the song revolves around typical cookie-cutter rap topics. Asking for good lyrics and beats is obviously too much to ask for, but I’m still content with just having a good beat.
New N3on
I’m enjoying the beat of this song but nothing else. Once again, Carti raps about stereotypical rap topics and calls it a “song.” You could go on SoundCloud and find thousands of songs similar to this. Carti might be suffering from permanent writer’s block.
Control
A clip of DJ Akademiks discussing the upcoming album preludes this song. Additionally, Akademiks claims Carti is Santa for gifting us this album. I compared images of Carti and Santa, and I’ve come to the conclusion that they look nothing alike. Additionally, how can you compare a man who drops a couple of SoundCloud-esque songs to someone who travels the world delivering gifts? Anyway, the rest of the song is about the stuff Carti is willing to do for the girl he loves.
Punk Monk
The content of this song strays from everything previous to it. Carti discusses the importance of knowing who’s in your gang and who’s not. He also name drops a couple of mainstream artists that he tried to sign before they got famous. One line that stood out was “And I thought I had Pi’erre, but the label tricked me (What?).” It’s a shame that the label prevented them from collaborating. They’re a very strong duo and are behind masterpieces like Magnolia.
On That Time
Carti pretty much spends the entire duration of the song to talk about his gun which he refers to as his “draco.” He talks about how it feels to shoot it and how he uses it to eliminate his “opps” or enemies. Carti even takes the time to spell out the word “draco” which is spelled as D-R-A-C-O. Webster’s dictionary, take notes!
King Vamp
Carti claims to be “King Vamp.” He mentions things like “I can’t sleep,” “I fly in the sky,” “When the sun goes down, yeah, it’s time to creep.” Perhaps the reason why Carti has insomnia is because he is a vampire. I’m not sure why or how Carti is a vampire, but Google also doesn’t seem to know the answer.
Place
From the two-second mark to the seven-second mark, there is just silence. I’m not sure if this was on purpose or the audio engineer was drunk and forgot to remove it. The rest of the song is just Carti babbling about typical rap topics. Carti really needs to improve his rap topics because I don’t want to listen about Carti’s sexual journeys over and over.
Sky
Carti begins about how drug use makes him feel high as the sky. He follows up with talk about his girl, and it seems like there is trouble brewing in their relationship. He claims that she doesn’t do anything and wants to cut her off. Hopefully, Carti can improve his relationship, but to be honest, I really could care less.
Over
Carti takes a more reflective approach in this song. He contemplates about his origins and how he ended up where he is now as a successful, vampire rapper. He also gives valuable advice on not to trust everyone due to people being fake. The lyrics on this song were created with much more thought than expected.
ILoveUIHateU
Once again, Carti treats us to another very ordinary song. He raps about eating ecstasy and drinking Promethazine to solve his problems. Whenever I’m stuck on a problem, I just start crying. It’s a much healthier option than chugging promethazine. He also uses a simile where he compares his girl to Buddha because they both have gold. Never have I ever heard such a profound simile.
Die4Guy
Carti begins by paying respect to his brother Reggie Carter. He claims that he would do anything for him including dying for him. The rest of the song is just a motley of cliche rap topics. On a side note, the beat is enjoyable.
Not Playing
Carti reflects on his transition from the hood to how great his current life is. The rest of the song is, you guessed, more unremarkable lyrics about common rap topics. After listening to all these mediocre songs, I’m honestly thinking about starting my own SoundCloud career. All I need to do is rap about drugs, guns, and my imaginary girl on top of a fire beat. Maybe I’ll become a rockstar vampire like Carti!
F33l Lik3 Dyin
Finally, we reach the last song of this lackluster album. After listening to Carti rap his lungs out for three hours straight in an attempt to write this review, I also feel like dying. The premise of this closing song is that Carti feels like dying because he can’t find love despite having been all across the world. The song is slow-paced and a weak ending to this 24 song special.
After listening to Carti for that long, my ears are bleeding, and I’m very disappointed. Many of these songs were very similar in nature and lacked any defining features. Additionally, some songs were on the brink of unlistenable due to Carti’s repetition of certain one line phrases for the entire duration of a song. Although I enjoyed a select few songs, the entire album is a flop or meh if we’re using Carti terms. Hopefully, his next album proves to be much better, but let’s be real, we’re going to have to wait another three years. See you in 2024!
