Surprising upsets, a return to form, and some good old fashioned football highlight this year’s week one matchups.
Seahawks: 38
Falcons: 25
Russell Wilson is playing lights out once again. The Seahawks’ offense just ravaged the Falcons’ secondary and had no answers for Russell Wilson’s arm or legs. It doesn’t even matter if the Falcons have somewhat of an offense because they somehow found a way to screw it up. I mean this is Atlanta, where they think nothing is wrong, but everyone is screaming for some kind of change in the front office or terms of coaching. The Seahawks were in playoff form, and Atlanta seemed forever cursed by the “28-3” legacy. Wilson finished the day with four touchdowns and 322 yards with only four incompletions. DK Metcalf, the man who looks like he bench presses Buicks for fun, had four receptions for 95 yards, and Tyler Lockett had eight receptions for 92 yards. The running game was almost nonexistent for the Seahawks, but that is to be expected with such a potent air attack. Why fix something that isn’t broken? The Falcons had solid stats for their players with Matt Ryan who had 450 yards, two TDs, and an interception. Their wide receivers were Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley, both had good games and went over 100 yards receiving. But these stats don’t matter if you can’t work as a team and come together to get the win. In the end, the better team won, and that’s just the way it is. Both defenses were nothing to write home about, but each had their moments, and as long as they cut down on their mistakes in the future, it should be fine. However, two things are clear: the Seahawks are going to be a team to beat, and something needs to change in Atlanta.
Bears: 27
Lions: 23
Why does it seem that when these two teams play, we lose. I mean, as football fans that have to watch these two teams battle it out, it’s just unfair to humanity itself. Both teams were substandard, and the Bears only came out with a win due to luck and bad plays. In the first half, Trubisky was putrid, I mean, just utter garbage. Inaccurate throws, horrible reads, things that a high school quarterback could probably do better than him. Even with the Lions having a relatively slow start to their offense, a 17 point lead by the 4th quarter seemed like game over. But of course, this is the Lions, and hope is not something that you should have in mind when watching them. They let the Bears come back and take the lead which is just bad for everyone. The Lions, of course, relying on Matt Stafford to bail them out of trouble once again relied on his arm to take the lead with time waning out. So, this means that the Lions will, of course, screw it up and have their rookie running back drop a ball that even most 5-year-olds would be able to catch. This game was atrocious from the start, and any fan for both teams should be afraid if this is the direction that they are going on. Stafford finished the game with 297 yards, a touchdown, and an interception each. The Lions’ receiving core ended up with Amendola having 81 yards with 5 catches, and their tight end with 56 yards. Their running back core was thanks to Adrian Peterson, who had 93 yards on 14 carries. The Bears weren’t much better with Trubisky only throwing around 300 yards, and their receivers going barely under 100 yards. Their running backs weren’t even close to cracking 100 yards. This game was not a game people should have watched, and if you did, I’m sorry.
Packers: 43
Vikings: 34
Aaron Rodgers is back. The man was unstoppable, and it looked like nothing was going to get in his way. The man had a gigantic chip on his shoulder due to the talks about his age, physical decline, and the Packers drafting his successor in the draft. The man came out and balled, simple as that. The Vikings could not keep up with the offensive onslaught and decided to just lay down and take it. Rodgers went for 364 yards and 4 touchdowns, and his partner Davante Adams went for 156 receiving yards and two touchdowns. Lazard and Valdez-Scantling also had pretty good games with 96 and 63 yards, respectively, and one touchdown for each. Their star running back Aaron Jones didn’t have the best game, only ending up with 66 yards and one touchdown, but this makes sense against the Vikings’ defense. The Vikings’ defense could not keep up and got dismantled, and the Vikings’ offense got stuffed by the Packers’ defense. Dalvin Cook, their star running back, ended the game with only 50 yards. Kirk Cousins retreated back to his shell and had only 259 passing yards with two touchdowns and a pick. Adam Thielen had himself a pretty good game with 110 yards and two touchdowns, but the Vikings’ offense needs more from the other players if they want to stay competitive in this league. Overall, the Packers balled on both sides of the ball, and the Vikings just couldn’t keep up.
Football Team: 27
Eagles: 17
Writing “The Washington Football Team” will always be funny. However, after this game, people aren’t laughing at the name but more at the ineptitude of the Eagles. HOW DO YOU LOSE TO A TEAM WITHOUT A NAME?. There is no way that [name redacted] could have scored 27 points by themselves. I mean, did you anger a god? What do you have to do to actually lose to this team? To make matters worse, they were actually leading by 17 points at one point. How do you let a team score 27 unanswered points with almost no effort to stop them? Yes, injuries plagued the Eagles lineup but to lose to the Football team while being up by 17 points at one point is just atrocious. Carson Wentz who got sacked EIGHT times might not be able to walk in Philadelphia without a paper bag over his head. The man was sacked eight times and threw for two interceptions while only scoring in the first half and then just apparently gave up. Both sides of the ball for both teams were absolutely atrocious and was not something that any person with integrity or dignity should watch unless you’re a masochist who enjoys pain. Good luck to any fans of these franchises.
Saints: 34
Buccaneer: 23
When Tom Brady joined the buccaneers, everyone assumed that he would either sink or swim and that there was no in-between. If this game was any indication of what Brady will be like, then he better get some floaties because he is going to sink. He seemed rusty and not in tune with his receivers. He was overthrowing marks, making careless mistakes which lead to a pick-six, and just not living up to the First Ballot Hall of Famer that we have all loved to hate over the years. Drew Brees was also feeling his age with only 160 passing yards and two touchdowns. The defenses for both teams looked great, which is a pretty big feat given that the QBs for both teams are for sure going into the Hall of Fame when they retire. Overall, the Saints looked clean and good like they usually do, and the Buccaneers need to be very careful with their next few games and shake off the rust.
Cardinals: 24
49ers: 20
The Cardinals won the trade for Deandre Hopkins. It may seem early to make that judgment, but I don’t think there is a single person out there who can say that Hopkins didn’t win this game for the Cardinals. The Cardinals went toe to toe with the reigning NFC champs and won. Kyler Murray seemed to have grown since being a rookie last year. He is making better throws and decisions. It also helps that he has the best receiver in the NFL along with Larry Legend as his number one and number two receivers. Hopkins ended the game with 151 receiving yards and 14 catches, and Fitzgerald had some key catches as well. Murray was spectacular with 230 passing yards, 91 rushing yards, and two touchdowns. The 49ers just seemed stuck. This is not the same team that almost won the Super Bowl last year. They seemed good in the first half, but everything just went downhill afterward. Offense and defense were not clicking, and they need to change if they want to continue to be dominant in this league.
Rams: 20
Cowboys: 17
The Cowboys continue to be the most overrated team in the NFL. When they got Ceedee Lamb in the draft, everyone was projecting them to be one of the better teams in the NFL, and, oh god, was that just wrong. They seemed unready for the Rams. Their offense was okay, but okay is not going to win games or a Super Bowl. Their defense wasn’t even okay; it was horrible. The Rams’ offense continued to move down the field and ended up with an easy win over a team that needs to take a long and hard look at themselves before they can continue down the season. Jared Goff and the Rams marched down the field and looked clean doing it. Goff ended the day with 275 passing yards. The offense made some mistakes, but, unlike the Cowboys, they understood their mistakes and made better decisions to win the game. This game had a simple message: the Rams are still a good team, and the Cowboys need to come back down to Earth if they want to still compete.
