2020 might seem hopeless right now and it has become tragedy after tragedy that has affected this horrible year. However, there is something good about this year. Football is back!
Chiefs: 34
Texans: 20
Things might seem hopeless right now, but at least we can find joy in news that can comfort us in these uncertain times: the Kansas City Chiefs are crushing and demoralizing its opponents once again. The score was not reflective of the actual game. Both sides of the ball were dominated by the Chiefs, and the Texans weren’t able to do anything but sit there and take it. And now the Chiefs have a seemingly dominant running game, “Oh sweet lord save those unsuspecting teams. That’s just a form of cruel and unusual punishment”. Whoever the Chiefs play against, I know that they will run them into the ground, throw daggers, and play lights out defense, which is not technically against the Geneva Convention, but it sure should be; we need to save these teams before they have to deal with the Chiefs again. Houston, for a second, was up 7-0 and believed that trading their star wideout for David Johnson was actually a good idea, but like any other Bill O’Brien action, it failed miserably. The Houston Texans’ offense was going nowhere for the entire game and the absence of their star wideout Deandre Hopkins was very noticeable. The offense seemed stale, and Deshaun Watson ended up only going 20 for 32 for 253 yards with one TD and one interception. Despite these numbers, true football fans know that would have been higher if they still had their star player Hopkins. Will Fuller, their only wideout who could move 10 yards without seemingly tripping over air, had 112 yards with ten targets. The Texans’ offense was short of expectations, but the Chiefs were not. Patrick Mahomes went 24 for 32 for 211 yards and 3 TDs. Their wide receivers were a little rusty with no one going over 100 yards receiving, but that is no shocker after such a long hiatus. However, the talk of the town was the Chiefs’ new rookie running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire. He had 138 yards and a touchdown on 25 carries, basically cementing the Chiefs’ running game as something that should haunt defensive coordinators in their sleep. The Chiefs’ defense cannot go unstated with their suffocating ground and air defense which stunned one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Ultimately, it was a well rounded Chiefs team going up against a broken Texans team, so of course, the scoreboard looks like that.
Bills: 27
Jets: 17
My god, the Jets are horrible. I mean this part of the article writes itself. They are perfectly fine with trading one of their key defensive players Jamal Adams, who seems like he would rather get hit by a bus than continue playing for the dumpster fire of a team that is the Jets organization. Their head coach Adam Gase needs to be fired before any more Jets fans are put on suicide watch. They came into this game as a team filled with 52 men and left the field as 52 excuses. All the Bills had to do was be somewhat conscious, and they would have won the game. The Jets’ offense was filled with stupid errors by their QB, and their receivers dropping catchable passes like they just contracted a case of the Butterfingers. Darnold went for 215 yards, one touchdown, and a pick. Their best receiver was Jamison Crowder, never thought I would say those words in a sentence, who went for 115 yards and a touchdown. The Bills were just as sloppy with many mistakes on both sides of the ball, but this makes sense given that there was no preseason. The Bills’ stats had both good and bad things about it. Josh Allen went for 312 yards, two passing touchdowns, and one rushing. Their receivers all had less than a hundred yards receiving, while their running core put up less than 50 yards rushing. The Bills’ defense really didn’t have to do much because a blowing leaf would have had more of an offensive impact than Darnold and company. The Jets’ defense seemed sluggish, slow, and not at all prepared which is something even a sloppy team like the Bills can take advantage of. All in all, this game was sloppy for both teams, but as long as the Buffalos can clean their mistakes from this game then they might have a chance at the playoffs.
Patriots: 21
Dolphins: 11
The Return of Cam Newton. Something many fans just can’t help but get excited about even if he is playing for the Patriots and seeing them have another dynasty after just getting rid of Tom Brady will make us want to gouge our eyes out. However, it seems like the Patriots might just do that with Cam Newton playing like Super Cam once again. Newton scrambling was something that the Patriots offense lacked with Old Man Brady, and you could tell that it just added something fun to their offense which they are going to take advantage of every day of the week. The Dolphins’ offense, on the other hand, was a dumpster fire on top of another dumpster fire. Fitzpatrick had three interceptions before the game was done, and it seemed like the Dolphins didn’t have anything working for them on offense, whether it be their lackluster play or the Patriots’ great defense. This game reminded us that we can always laugh at the Dolphins even during COVID and that the Patriots could be back.
Jaguars: 27
Colts: 20
Minshew Mania is back and in full swing. Gardner Minshew was back and basically perfect with only one incompletion, 173 passing yards, and three touchdowns. He came up, showed up, and then just left with every Colt fan wondering who was the man with the mustache and amazing arm. The Colts were supposed to come into this game and wipe the floor with Jacksonville. They have a new QB in Phillip Rivers, and their defense is one of the best in the league, yet they let a glorified college team beat them into next Tuesday. Rivers was back to his old self with good passing yards and back-breaking interceptions that make any fan want to jump into the Pacific Ocean. This game was mediocre with the Jaguars coming out and surprising everyone, yet they still haven’t done enough to prove that they are still a competitive team that wants the playoffs. As for the Colts, they have just sunk lower in the depth chart for good teams and need to change something quickly if they want to be in the playoff race.
Ravens: 38
Browns: 6
Lamar Jackson has come off an amazing MVP season and is apparently hungry for more. The Ravens absolutely demolished the Browns, and the Browns had no answers for anything that the Ravens shoved down their throats. Jackson was stellar with 275 passing yards and three touchdowns, and their offense was a perfect supporting cast for an amazing main lead. The Browns’ offense, on the other hand, was just garbage. I mean, you are a professional sports team, yet you can only put up six points. How pathetic is that? These people get paid millions of dollars to throw a ball and can’t even do that correctly. If you have any friends who are Browns’ fans, please check to see if they are okay because they must be going through some stuff right now. Overall, the Ravens did what they do best, which is to dominate, and the Browns did what the Browns do best, which is to lose.
Chargers: 16
Bengals: 13
Joe Burrow gets to make his first NFL start for the Bengals and, as predicted, it wasn’t the easiest of transitions. Burrow had an okay game which helped get his feet wet, but everyone else seemed to just want to give up. The O-line was just garbage, and the defense didn’t really seem to want to win. The offense was okay given that they have a new QB under center, but their O-Line has to be fixed, or Burrow will either get injured or lose his confidence. The Chargers, on the other hand, seemed just as sloppy as the Bengals, and careless mistakes were made by both sides. They would have had to go to overtime if the Bengals kicker could make an easy field goal. We can chalk this up to rust from not playing for almost seven months, but things need to change on both sides of the ball for both teams if either of them wants a chance at playoffs.
Titans: 16
Broncos: 14
Apparently, making a field goal is just not something that the Titans know how to do. The kicker for the Titans missed three field goals and an extra point which makes you wonder if he was worth it. However, in typical Titans fashion, they came back and won it on….a field goal because making a game-winning field goal is far easier than making the other ten points left on the table due to mistakes. The Broncos did not seem ready and got bailed out because of the mistakes on the Titans’ side. We still don’t know what to make of Drew Lock and the Broncos’ offense. The defense was missing a key piece in Von Miller, so this year might be a transition year so that in the coming years, they can bounce back and win. The Titans need to shape up and cut down on the mistakes, or they won’t get bailed out again by Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry. All in all, the Titans got lucky, and the Broncos are the same old Broncos, just with less of their players on the field.
