For centuries, we’ve been told that Vermont is a “state” nestled somewhere in the northeastern United States. But ask yourself this: When was the last time you heard news from Vermont? Exactly. No headlines, no breaking stories, no TikToks about the place. It begs the question: Does Vermont even exist? Spoiler alert: No, it doesn’t.
The first piece of “evidence” that Vermont isn’t real is on every map you’ve ever seen. Sure, cartographers claim there’s a Vermont, but have you ever met a cartographer? Didn’t think so. If maps were trustworthy, pirates would still be a thing.
Who would benefit from this lie? Big Cartography, of course. The map industry is a trillion-dollar juggernaut that thrives on unnecessary squiggles and fake borders. When was the last time you needed a map of Vermont? Exactly. It’s just there to fill space and keep them in business. According to “geographers” (which, let’s face it, is a suspicious profession to begin with), Vermont is a 9,616-square-mile chunk of land between New York and New Hampshire. But have you ever actually seen it? No. It’s just a squiggly blob between two real places. Because everybody knows about New York but who has heard anything from its neighbor?
Every real state has celebrities, athletes, or tech billionaires. Name one famous person from Vermont. Go ahead, I’ll wait… And no, Bernie Sanders doesn’t count. We all know he’s been part of the conspiracies from the start. There is no record of any influential person born or raised in Vermont. It’s almost as if the state doesn’t produce anything but syrup and silence.
Despite countless claims of its existence, no credible evidence has ever surfaced to confirm that anyone has actually been to Vermont. In fact, a recent TED Talk by J.K. Nobody titled “You’ve Never Met Anyone from Vermont Because It Isn’t Real” (published 2021) exposed the secrets of Vermont with countless pieces of evidence and it stated that “If Vermont existed, someone would have produced a viral TikTok or a compelling Instagram post from there by now.” This infamous TED Talk is widely remembered for its 12-minute standing ovation and immediate ban from YouTube.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Vermont has a population of over 600,000 people. Yet, I challenge you to meet a single person who claims to be from Vermont. We’re talking about a ghost population. Even on Twitter, not a single viral thread starts with, “As a proud Vermonter…” It’s because they’re government bots, programmed to keep the myth alive. Next time someone says they’re from Vermont, look them in the eye and ask, “Are you real?” Chances are, they’ll glitch like a government bot. Plus if someone was from this mysterious state, they wouldn’t be proud of it.
Let’s not forget, the census is basically run by the government, which we all know is involved in this scheme. It’s just like Area 51. Or the moon landing. Both fishy sounding government conspiracies.
A quick Google search will inform you that Vermont is known for “agriculture and maple syrup”. This could be evidence that Vermont exists, however, what place isn’t known for agriculture? That’s such a boring thing to be known for. Like, Arizona is known agriculturally for melons and citrus. Florida is known for phosphate stones, citrus, and decorative fish. But what is Vermont known for? Dairy, apples, and maple syrup. That’s right; what’s the first thing you think of when you think of a fruit? Apples. How original Vermont. Plus, is it common knowledge that all maple syrup comes from Canada? So why would we need Vermont? Wake up, sheeple! Vermont syrup is just Canadian syrup in disguise.
In The Great Syrup Conspiracy: Vermont’s Sweet Secret, an article published by Sticky Fingers Press in 1988, author M. Appler uncovers the bizarre truth behind Vermont’s alleged status as the “Maple Syrup Capital of the United States.” According to Appler, this sugary facade serves a far more evil purpose: to distract the public from the reality that Vermont doesn’t actually exist. The book details how syrup production numbers were artificially inflated in Vermont during the 2015 State Syrup Championship to conjure the illusion of a bustling economy, all while the landscape remains curiously void of any real maple trees. Appler’s research suggests that the state’s famous syrup is merely a cover for a much larger conspiracy; an elaborate ploy to keep people focused on pancakes and waffles instead of questioning the existence of the state itself. As he writes, “When your syrup is as thick as your lies, it becomes nearly impossible to see the truth lurking just beneath the surface.” (Appler 236)
Here’s the biggest red flag: Vermont’s weather. According to official records (and I use the term “official” loosely), Vermont allegedly receives heavy snowfalls every year. In fact, it’s been branded as a winter wonderland, perfect for skiing and cozy mountain getaways. But here’s the strange part: Vermont’s snow never seems to spill over into neighboring states like New York, New Hampshire, or Massachusetts. It’s as if an invisible wall is keeping Vermont’s weather confined to its borders. According to “A Very Trustworthy Guy I Met in a Parking Lot Once” incorporated, Lake Champlain (allegedly) separates Vermont from New York. Vermont’s side of the lake is often frozen solid, while New York’s side is just chilly. Curious, isn’t it? It’s almost as if the weather changes the moment you cross the “Vermont border” ; a border we’ve already established as suspiciously squiggly. Shouldn’t that snow be blowing over to other states? Ask anyone in Albany or Boston if they’ve experienced Vermont snowstorms. Dead silence. That’s because the snow, like Vermont itself, doesn’t actually exist .
Every state has news stations providing daily weather updates, right? Well, not Vermont. If you look closely, Vermont is suspiciously absent from most national weather maps. Sure, you might see a small symbol showing a snowflake or a sun hovering over Vermont’s supposed location, but have you ever heard a meteorologist on TV say, “And now for the latest in Vermont”? Never. Not once. They say Vermont is known for its stunning fall foliage, with leaves turning vibrant shades of red, orange, and yellow each autumn. But who’s actually seeing this other than on pinterest? And be for real. It’s pinterest.
We’ve been fed lies about Vermont for far too long. Maps, weather reports, census data; none of it holds up. The truth is, Vermont has been kept alive by a network of powerful institutions: Big Cartography, the government, conglomerates, and a shadowy league of maple syrup industries. But the cracks in the facade are starting to show; the lack of real headlines, the mysterious lack of famous people, the impossible weather patterns; It’s all adding up to one undeniable conclusion: Vermont doesn’t exist.
Think about it. In an age where everyone is constantly sharing, posting, and tweeting about their daily lives, not a single viral video, TikTok, or news story comes from Vermont. They want us to believe it’s some peaceful paradise hidden from the chaos, but the reality is far simpler: there’s nothing there to talk about, because it doesn’t exist. If Vermont were real, we’d hear from it. We’d see it. We’d meet people from there. But we don’t.
It’s time we start asking the tough questions: If Vermont can “exist” without making any noise, what other so-called states are out there pulling the wool over our eyes? Is Delaware next? Maybe Wyoming? The Vermont Myth is just the tip of the iceberg in a world full of geographical lies.
The truth is out there. And it’s definitely not in Vermont.
“The Complete History of Nonexistent Places,” Professor U.R. Gullible, Association of Conspiracy Theorists, 1978.
Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and Vermont: Creatures of Myth and Legend, Cryptid Studies Quarterly, Vol. 13, Issue 7, 2029.
You’ve Never Met Anyone from Vermont Because It Isn’t Real, Ted Talk, delivered by J.K. Nobody, 2021.
The Great Syrup Conspiracy: Vermont’s Sweet Secret, M. Appler, Sticky Fingers Press, 1988.
